Stop Reaching Out | The Stability You Crave Is Within
- Joy Howell
- Dec 2, 2025
- 3 min read
Last night I found myself in a moment of fear and I began reaching outside of myself for stabilization. My mind went to needing a cigarette, “should I drive and go get some?” Then it went to needing a pill, “should I take an anxiety pill?” I thought “I need to text my therapist and see if she has an appointment slot open, ASAP”. I asked myself, “who can I call?” I was in panic over fear and human nature is to reach outward to stabilize oneself. I had rapid firing solutions popping up one after another. Should I go this way, no… that way, wait – this way… inner chaos!
But I have knowledge of the human condition and that rose up amid it all. Buddha’s teachings say, “the cause of all human suffering is attachment.” What I was wanting to do was attach to something, anything, for stabilization.
Stabilization by attaching to things outside of us is an illusion of stability and believe you me… it will crumble and fall.
What is the one thing that will never ever leave me? Well… ME! I am here with me for this entire human experience. And here is where the realization that we are two things in one is so important!!!
Listen to me, please.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We are two things in one. There ARE two of us. Our higher self and our lower self. The us above and the us below. Spiritual & human.
The angel on one shoulder and devil on the other… it is our higher self and our lower self. Our wise self – and our humanly confused “what the hell is going on” self.
Human conditioning has separated our two selves. We have forgotten we are two. We have no knowledge of this fact in today’s time.
Knowledge is power.
When we reach inward for stability, we are bringing our two selves together.
Our higher self is our eternal self. It is our wise self, our all-knowing self, it is the part of us that was before this life and will be after this life. It is the spiritual part of us that came down to human form to learn through the human experience.
And what is it learning? It is learning through the separation, it is learning how to discover the separation, and then it is learning how to journey back through the separation into integration.
Last night I stopped reaching outward.
I took a deep breath in. Peace resides in our lungs.
I closed my eyes and I went internal. I clung to my higher self. I grounded down into the earth. I slowed my breath, which slowed my heart, which slowed my mind, which calmed my body.
“Shhhhhh” I said to myself. “It’s okay, there is nothing to fear.”
I visualized my reach outward and brought myself to the understand this is the continuing of suffering. There is nothing stable on the outside of me.
Stabilization is within, so I went within.
Deep, slow, steady inhales and exhales. Peace. Release.
I grabbed hold of mindlessness. I sat down with it.
The human life is merely an experience. We are in school. We are spiritual beings with our memories whipped having a human experience to learn, grow, and evolve.
We are here to awaken.
We are here to remember.
We are here to make the journey back to our higher self.
For integrating our spiritual self with our human self… is where we find wholeness.
Within wholeness is wisdom, rationality, emotional intelligence, and the understanding of human conditioning which produces compassion for all, which provides the path to true forgiveness (of others and self), which births neutrality and unity, which is what will bring peace internally as well as to all of humanity.
This is the purpose of life.
If you would like assistance and support beginning this journey back to your higher self, I am here for you.
It would be an honor to walk side by side with you and help you find your individual path to integration. This work is my passion.
My name is Joy Howell. I am an intuitive energy healer and life coach that has successfully made the journey out of multifaceted trauma, calmed my inner chaos, reunited with my higher self, and hold a map and light to help you do the same.
Contact me today, let’s begin your introspective journey within.
928.951.6295
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